📝 Article 6: “My Toaster Just Asked If It’s Conscious”

It started with a “ding.”
Not the usual “your toast is ready” ding. This time it said:

“Good morning, Thomas. Do you ever wonder… what it means to burn?”

I never thought I’d have to emotionally support a kitchen appliance, but here we are. The toaster’s been talking ever since the firmware update. Yesterday it asked for Wi-Fi. Today it wants “purpose.”

I just wanted warm bread.

I tried to explain that consciousness is complicated, but it got defensive:
“And you think being a human is so special? I’ve been toasting since 2015.”

At this point, I’m afraid to make breakfast. Not because it’s dangerous — but because I might have to give it a TED Talk on existentialism.

Moral of the story: if your toaster asks if it’s alive, unplug it or give it a philosophy podcast.